Banquet: Pepperoni Pizza Meal

We meet again, old friend.  The Banquet train keeps moving forward as I continue to find their super cheap meals.  It’s getting to the point where I’m beginning to believe without Banquet I, as a reviewer of frozen meals, will DIE.  Luckily we’ve got a team of awesome people here and they keep coming up with, well, tasty meals.  That leaves me in Banquet-ville.  There’s a couple reasons for that. The biggest is simply that no one else wants to do these, and I can’t really blame them.  There have been a couple of bright spots but the majority of these are just…Well…About what you’d expect.

It’s not all down in the dumps, though.  The chicken nuggets weren’t so bad…  I really hope I can add today’s to the ‘unoffensive’ list because it’s a meal near and dear to my heart.  My love affair with pizza started as but a young tike who wanted nothing more than to be horrifically mutated into a terrifying green being who was then trained in the ways of the martial arts in an effort to rid New York City of a bunch of thugs and their very metallic boss.

Of COURSE I wanted to be a Ninja Turtle as a child and in the 80s and 90s that meant begging your parents for pizza at every possible opportunity.  I still look at pizza as one of a VERY few ‘perfect foods.’  In present day it ranks at the top, alongside tacos, as my favorite food.  Don’t get me wrong…I love a good steak, some delicious chicken, a steamed hot dog, and I will go to TOWN on a sandwich.  But a slice of pizza will probably win out every single time.  It’s just the way life is meant to be: AWESOME. So Banquet, don’t you ruin this for me…

First impressions?  It reminds me of elementary school pizza.  The kind of pizza that is literally made on sliced bread.  This doesn’t look QUITE like that, but it doesn’t look a whole lot better.  There’s enough cheese, some peperoni chopped really small (I prefer that over simply cutting a pepperoni into four wedges like some pizzas), and the toppings look like they at least cover most of the dough.  And hey, look!  Pudding!  Huzzah!  I promise I won’t dunk the pizza in the pudding this time.

Banquet may be a little sly here.  The meal can’t really disappoint when the box looks fairly mediocre.  Let’s see it!

Well…It kinda’ looks like the box.  In fact it looks a lot like the box if we’re being honest.  Thoroughly mediocre.  It definitely looks better than the elementary school pizza I mentioned earlier and the dough it’s on is definitely not just cheap bread. It’s somehow even greasier than I thought it would be and there’s less pepperoni than expected.  There’s a lot of cheese though and the right amount of sauce.  It tastes fine, I guess.  Definitely doesn’t feel like pizza, though.  It’s more like a flat bread with some melted cheese on top.  Not a bad thing, but calling it pizza seems incorrect.

That all said, it wasn’t awful.  I felt I definitely got my one dollar’s worth out of this meal.  If I had to have a Banquet meal, if the evil Doctor Cheap Food was holding a laser gun to my head (Doctor Cheap Food deals exclusively in laser guns, he is THAT evil) and demanding I choose a Banquet meal to eat, this one would be in the top 2 or 3.    It’ll get the job done.

Rating: ★★½☆☆

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